The Beginning Minus One
by StarshipSailor
Summary: It was the Start of a new era for them. They had been together for three years now and, at this moment it seemed like it would be their last together. They had been groomed for this, but not by Starfleet...someone close had been helping them all along...


Ok so I don't know where this came from but I felt the need to write it. I don't know how sad you will find it but I was crying while writing it, but I had Ludovico Einaudi playing in the background.

Bones shook his head, trying to get his educated mind to think of something that would work. Uhura stared glassy-eyed and clasped both her hands her lips moving silently. Sulu frowned at the scene, this couldn't happen it was just too…normal. If he could survive an atmospheric drop to a planets surface then he should have survived this. Chekov already had tears streaming down his eyes a constant chant of 'no' and 'it's not possible' on his lips. Scotty ran a hand through his hair and sighed, the loss already being felt. Spock…Spock stared down and look of calm over his features but they all knew, they could all sense his confusion, his lost, because they all felt it. It would be felt throughout the ship once they all knew.

James Tiberius Kirk had taken his last breath.

Chekov started forward to approach the biobed but Sulu grabbed his arm and held him back. They would all feel the loss. Kirk had been a lot of things to all of them.

Bones had found his best friend in him. A man who would never complain about going out to get wasted. A man that would search a whole galaxy of bars so he could find you a date as well. A man who deflected your ex-wife's accusations when all you wanted to do was talk to your daughter.

Uhura had found a pillar of strength in the man. When she had felt strain from a relationship with Spock she would go to him. He would make her feel desirable the only was a human understand with well placed words and looks and then convincer her Spock was worth it and the Vulcan totally adored her in his own way.

Sulu had had a mentor. A man who would tell him all of life's lessons without all the cryptic mumbo jumbo older people always told it with. Kirk would give him advice and help him out when he thought maybe he wasn't cut out for Starfleet and he should go back home and help out with his mother's flower shop.

Chekov had found a brother. Kirk would always be seen with the kid. Helping him out, listening to him rant on about something only Spock would have a chance at deciphering. Kirk always looked after him though. He would always have a snappy retort when some other ship's Captain or higher up gave Chekov a hard time because of his age.

Scotty had seen Kirk as a kindred soul. They both loved mechanics and engines and of course the Enterprise. They had spent hours going over the ship and scheming to get the new parts they wanted, even if they weren't regulation or sometimes even legal. Scotty had felt like an uneducated hick when he first joined, what with everyone being so professional but Jim…Jim had been right there next to him telling everyone else to relax.

Spock…Spock had found his place at the man's side. The one place he felt totally confident was by Jim, informing the man of the regulations he was about to break and the best possible action to get them out of a Court Martial after it had been reported. Kirk had given Spock the means to find his own way of doing things and it was working well for him. He had found his T'hy'la, the other half to his split self. Kirk had never made him feel half human or half Vulcan, he had always been just Spock to Jim.

They didn't know it, but at that moment they all had the same memory…

"_I know I'll not live long. I was never meant to I don't think. This whole leap before I think attitude kinda helps that along." They were all sitting in the conference room where they often met after shift one night a week. The conversation had dipped when Jim decided to speak his mind._

"_Jim don't be ridiculous! Were all going to be here for a pretty long time because I a goddamn doctor and it's my job to keep you alive!" Everyone smiled, save for Spock who inclined his head._

"…_Yeah well I guess someone's got to stay around and make sure you guys all find you way right. That's what a captain's for." Jim got comfy and took another swig of his drink._

That had been almost a year ago. If they were all being honest Jim's words had struck a chord and they had all tried to improve on themselves. They never forgot his words, as though he was some guardian angel who was looking out for them until they could go their own way.

…But if that were true then why was Jim leaving now. None of them felt ready . None of them were ready…

Chekov had practically started hyperventilating gripping Sulu's arm and trying to stop the shakes running through his own body. Sulu ignored the tears running down his face and tried to think of something, anything to say to Chekov to help him. Uhura had tear track of her own, still whispering prayers under her breath. Scotty stood near Bones and put a hand on the man's shoulder, his face red but refusing to cry, even now. Bones hit the table with his fist and gave a shaking deep sigh.

"it wasn't meant to go like this…You were supposed to come back and complain that you didn't get to paw at anyone. You were supposed to come back and drink my new stash of Bourbon." He whispered to the pale face on the biobed.

Spock stood straighter. He was Captain now. Sonehting he wasn't ready for or wanted to be. He wasn't good at it, couldn't fill Jim's place.

"_Then don't."_ Spock looked around and found himself on the bridge but it was dark. Of course it was. The bridge crew were now in sickbay , replacements yet to be called. What was out of place was Jim sat in his Captain's chair.

"_It's your chair now Spock."_

"Are you a figment of my imagination? I am usually aware of anything my mind wishes to conjure, something it has not done since I was a child."

"_No, it's really me. Some guy back on the planet said I get one chance to talk to someone. I chose you since you're the one who could make sense of be being here. That and you'll be taking this harder than the rest…save for Bones and Chekov maybe."_ Jim stood up and moved over to the view screen.

"_Spock…You have to take command. The crew will fall apart without one of us in charge. We are an amazing crew together, we were great on our own but together were the ultimate federation saving team. They'll need someone to keep them together and you know only you can."_

"Jim I am not human, I cannot relate to the crew the way you did."

"_You don't have to. They know and respect you. They don't need another me. You were doing great while I was there and now you can do more. All you need to do is look after them. They'll do the rest, and they'll look after you too."_

"It is not logical for you to leave when you have work to do here. It is irresponsible and lazy to leave now."

"_Spock you'll do fine. Remember…look out for each other. The universe is a big place and we all need friends. It's just a big lonely, cold place out there other wise."_

Spock heard the soft his of the doors and saw the bridge crew walk out as well as Bones and Scotty. They all walked over to his side and stood watching the planet below lazily turn on it's axis.

"He's really gone…It's over then." Sulu said quietly. None of them taking their eyes of the vast amount of same in front of them.

"No, it is not. Jim has never fail to complete a mission and neither shall he fail his last." Everyone look at Spock and he knew the weight of their looks. He kept his eye's on the view screen and a star caught his attention. It flickered brightly, almost in a overconfident, cocky way.

"We shall continue to build on what Jim set as foundations. We shall continue to seek out the life forms Jim wished to find and keep the federation safe as he often thought we did. We shall continue to be the friends he made."

Well…wow…Like I said I have know idea where this came from but I felt the need to post it as well as write it. So please tell me what you think. ^_^


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